Automatic Flowers
by The Freaky Butt Mate
Summary: [mm] He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me... when will he make up his mind? [DarrenSteve][Prebook]
1. one petal falls

- - - -

**Automatic Flowers**

**…he loves me. he loves me not. he loves me…**

**- - - - **

**one petal falls**

**i'm waiting for this sky to fall i'm waiting for a sign and all we are is so far away**

**- - - - **

From the angle I was sitting at, with my head propped on my hand as it was, I was just able to see _him_. He lay sprawled across his desk next to mine, the back of his shirt pulled taut enough for me to be able to see the outline of his spine and jutting shoulder blades. He had the funniest, dopiest look on his face – he was going cross-eyed as he stared at the fair strands of his fringe. He flicked at it impatiently.

I twirled my pen lazily.

He expelled a long breathe of air, his flicking hand falling down so that it looked like he was reaching for the back of the chair in front of him.

"…By building these sea walls, or spits, the flow of the sand along its natural current has been disrupted, instead forcing it to pile up in one area and thin out in another…"

Mrs. Kelp was drawling on at the front about some uninteresting topic or another. Had I scanned the room at that instant, I would've seen that no one was listening – everyone else was in their own little world, dreaming of things more interesting. Alan even had a line of drool creeping its way out of the corner of his open mouth.

But I didn't scan the room. I was too busy watching _him_.

Slowly, Steve lowered his head and began to softly hit it repeatedly against the desk. The teacher didn't notice. Nor did anyone else.

I did though.

It had been… How long? About a month, I think, since he had kissed me in his bedroom. A whole month.

And as much as I didn't want to say it…

I wanted him to kiss me again.

My mind recoiled at the thought. Here I was, a guy, wanting another guy to kiss me, to, to press his _lips_ against mine? _Again!_

The answer was a simple yes.

I sighed.

Beside me, Steve leaned further forward in his seat, making it rock up onto the front two legs. It looked like it was about to slip forward any second.

Bang.

He had slammed his head into the desk again.

My stomach gave a funny little jump.

He leaned back.

My hand twitched.

Finally, I grabbed my notepad, discreetly ripped out a piece of paper, and scribbled something on to it. Then I folded it up and slipped it under his elbow.

He glanced at me funnily, his eyebrows going up in question. I shrugged, and pointedly looked at the note.

He glared.

I shrugged again.

Then, with a grumble that didn't disturb anyone around us, he picked up the piece of paper and read through it. I watched him closely through the corner of my eyes – watching the slight rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed, the movement of his eyes over the note, the way his eyebrows travelled further up into his hairline, and his quick glance towards me when he finished it. He was frowning.

I pretended I didn't notice him looking at me, and instead stared at the teacher. I tried my best to look as interested as possible, but somehow, I found that listening to a dreary teacher talk about _sand_ wasn't interesting at all.

I was just starting to slip off into Sleep Land when the bell rang. Almost immediately, the class snapped out of their separate dazes, grabbed their bags, and bolted for the door, pushing and shoving in their urgency to get out into fresh air and freedom. The teacher didn't notice them leave, staring down at a piece of paper.

"…don't forget to do your homework, questions one to three of the worksheet…" She paused, and looked up to see that only two students remained in her classroom. "Oh. Well. Have a good weekend, boys."

And with that, she stood up, packed away her things, and left.

Leaving me alone in the room with Steve.

He had stood slowly, putting his near empty bag onto his desk, one hand loosing holding a strap. His other hand was on his hip, his foot tapping impatiently.

"Well?" Steve asked, obviously wanting to escape this hell known as school. I began to stand slowly as he continued. "What did you want, Darren?"

I faced him, my hands clenched together behind my back. They were shaking slightly, but I didn't want him to see that.

I didn't know how to say this.

I didn't know how to _do_ this.

"I…" I started, then trailed off unsurely. My heart was racing. Was I really about to do what I _thought_ I was going to do?

I glanced around quickly even though I knew no one else was in the room. And then, before I could stop and change my mind, I leaned forward, closed my eyes - and clumsily pressed my lips to his.

At first, he didn't move. He was completely still. It was as if he were too shocked to do anything. My heart beat faster, my mind racing even further ahead. What if he didn't want to kiss me? What if he didn't like me? What if this was all a mistake…? What if -?

My thoughts were suddenly jarred when Steve finally responded.

He reached up, grabbing my shoulders. For a second, I thought he was going to pull me closer in a tight embrace. But then his hands tightened painfully and he roughly shoved me into the desk behind us instead. Cringing in pain as the small of my back smacked against the sharp edge of the table, I looked up at him bewilderedly. His face was livid with anger, almost a strange dark red in colour.

"What the _hell_ are you doing!" He yelled, taking a step back. I didn't reply. I couldn't reply. I just stood slowly, the pain in my back ebbing away. It was going somewhere else now. Somewhere, deep in the tightness of my chest, the pain was welling up, my stomach clenching tightly.

He didn't… 

"I…" I started again. Then, thinking better of it, I grabbed my bag, pushed past him and ran all the way home.

It was only when I was locked in my room did I start to cry.

_He didn't…_

- - - -

**A.N **My apologies to all my readers (wow – I can actually say that now! I can't believe it!) I've been away and instead of being a good little girl a writing Steve's diary, I've instead been writing this… as well as two original stories, one slash, one about Toby and Perri…If you would like to read the slash one - **Five Dollar Bag -**go to FictionPress and look up The Freaky Butt Mate. XD Me lub you long time if you read FDB! Hehe.

Anyway… I shall go on with this one while I have the inspiration, so… -scurries off-


	2. two petals fall

- - - -

**Automatic Flowers**

**…he loves me. he loves me not. he loves me…**

**- - - -**

**two petals fall**

**you know completely the taste of sin melting sweet in your mouth like chocolate**

**- - - - **

"Darren, phone for you."

I glared at the wall, curled up on my bed.

"I'm not here," I growled.

"It's Steve."

I clenched my eyes shut, curling up into a tighter ball. The poor pillow I was hugging twisted in my arms.

"I don't want to talk to him."

There was a slight pause. Then I felt a sudden pressure just below me, the bed sinking a little as my mother sat down beside me. Her hand rested softly on my elbow, warm and reassuring.

"Honey…" she said softly.

I didn't move.

"Have you and Steve had a fight?"

I tried to turn away further, trying to bury my face into the bed. It didn't work though.

"…you know, he was trying to call you all of last night. It sounds like he's really sorry for whatever it is he did."

"No he's not," I mumbled.

Another pause. She gave me a pat on my arm and stood up.

"I'll tell him you're still not feeling well, then."

Then she left the room, softly closing the door behind her.

…_trying to call you all of last night…_

I sat up slowly.

…_it sounds like he's really sorry…_

What if… did that mean…?

I jumped from the bed and ripped my door open.

"Mum!" I cried. "Don't hang up!"

At the foot of the stairs, I saw her lookup, the phone at her ear. She smiled.

"Oh, look, here he is, Steve," she said into the phone. "Hang on a second, he's coming down the stairs…"

I leaped down the stairs, taking them two at a time, then landed at a skidding halt next to the little table that held the telephone. With another smile, my mum handed the earpiece over.

"Steve…!" I cried. Beside me, Mum gave me a swift pat on my shoulder then bustled off to do whatever it is mums do on Saturdays.

"Hey Darren…"

"Um, about yesterday-"

"Never mind about that," he said, cutting me off almost sharply. I paused, biting my tongue. "Can you… can you come over to my place?"

"What, now?"

"Yeah."

"Um… let me check…" Covering the mouthpiece, I leaned back. "Mum, can I go over to Steve's?" I called.

"Have you done all your homework?" Her voice called from somewhere in the house. I wasn't entirely sure where she was calling from.

"Yes?" I called back, hoping she didn't notice the uncertainty in my voice. In all honesty, I'd pretty much forgotten what homework I'd been given.

"All right, you can go."

"Yes!" I cried, then turned back to the phone. "She said yes!"

"Oh, good," came Steve's distant voice. "I'll see you in twenty?"

"Okay, sure!" I said – but the soft beeping told me he had already hung up.

Not feeling in the least discouraged by that, I quickly hung up, ran up the stairs and got changed out of my pyjamas. Changing took me moments. It took me even less time to bolt once more down the stairs, say a quick goodbye to Mum, through the door, then down the street. In fact, I walked so quickly to get to Steve's that I was ten minutes early.

Puffing, I knocked on the door. I didn't have to wait very long. The door opened only a few seconds later, as if the opener had been standing behind it just waiting for the knock to happen.

Steve stared at me.

I smiled slightly.

He smiled back.

Then he reached forward, grabbed my wrist, dragged me inside, and shut the door.

All in one go.

There were no words said. It was as if he didn't care for words. Not that I minded – as soon as he shut the door, he pushed me up against the wooden surface –

And pressed a kiss onto my lips.

It was a fiery kiss, a bruising one, a melting one.

It was perfect.

My knees were starting to collapse on me. I thought he was about to deepen the kiss but he instead broke away, taking a step back and lightly licking his lips. I would have fallen forward if it weren't for Steve's firm grip on my wrist.

Still not saying a thing, Steve turned around and began walking me up towards the stairs.

"Where are we going?" I asked, slightly warily. He glanced over his shoulder, his eyes strangely serious.

"To my room."

"Why?"

"I… want to try some things."

I could barely hide that sudden excited feeling that burst through my chest.

Reaching his room, Steve closed the door behind him until he heard a satisfying _click._ I looked at him questioningly. He shrugged.

"I put a lock on it after the last time she walked in on us," he stated simply, then pushed me onto the bed.

I fell back, and before I knew what was happening, he had climbed on top of me and was kissing me again.

Forget that last kiss at the door.

_This_ one was perfect.

It was rough, hard, making my mouth hurt, but all the same, it felt… wonderful. There it was, that tongue I was getting so accustomed to, sneaking in past my now lax defences and making its way around my mouth. Tentatively, I let my own tongue do the same – it crept a little forward, jolted back when it made contact with Steve's – and then gathered courage and ploughed ahead. I creaked my eyes open slightly to see Steve's crinkled slightly in a smile.

Once more, he broke away from me, a line of saliva pulling away from our gasping mouths. With a devious smile, however, he leaned forward once more and placed a small kiss on my neck – then another – then another.

And then, the strangest sensation of all – a nibble.

I flinched, but Steve's hand reassured me, slipping under my shirt and resting just on my ribcage.

"It's all right," he whispered, leaning back slightly to look me in the eye. His were twinkling. "I won't hurt you."

And then he descended upon me with another kiss, another nip.

He didn't hurt me – far from it.

I was floating…

- - - -

**A.N **Yay for short and concise.

I feel like doing an emotionless piece, so this story is going to be mostly emotionless. More… flat… and slightly more physical, I guess you could say… Hrmmm…

**dfsw d:** Steve is about twelve and Darren is around eleven. Oh, they are so young, and yet already so horny… Le sigh. Then again, I was pretty dirty minded at that age, too, so wouldn't boys be more so? Hehe. XD

Thanks for reading! Next chapter will arrive eventually – I am being overloaded with assessments at the moment, so I'm fitting in all my writing during Maths classes and at midnight. Not good for poor Freaky's health. Or maths grades, for that matter…

- - - -


End file.
